Todays Smile

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Stu Pitt

Re: Todays Smile
« Reply #2200 on: 24 Jul 2019, 12:30 am »

Next time someone asks me to pick them up from the airport, I’m definitely going to do something like that. Maybe change the last part to schools and playgrounds. That’ll keep them asking again.

weatherman1

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Re: Todays Smile
« Reply #2201 on: 24 Jul 2019, 05:15 am »



jhm731

Re: Todays Smile
« Reply #2202 on: 24 Jul 2019, 08:21 pm »

FullRangeMan

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Re: Todays Smile
« Reply #2203 on: 25 Jul 2019, 03:52 am »
This make me think!

weatherman1

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Re: Todays Smile
« Reply #2204 on: 25 Jul 2019, 05:15 am »



weatherman1

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Re: Todays Smile
« Reply #2205 on: 25 Jul 2019, 11:05 pm »



jhm731

Re: Todays Smile
« Reply #2206 on: 26 Jul 2019, 08:00 pm »

James Tanner

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dflee

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Re: Todays Smile
« Reply #2208 on: 28 Jul 2019, 01:38 pm »
Got a little story:
Friend of mine and I were sitting on the porch enjoying the cool evening and a nice beer last night. Jim's a good guy that's always throwing situations and conundrums at me cause he knows (in his own words) I ain't quite right. Last night's is the reason of this story.
He asked me to put my life in an analogy. I told him to go first since he's had time to think about it. A fox. He went on to explain how he felt his life reflected that of a fox in it's adventures and journeys. I enjoyed his comparisons and parallels and the story told. He finished and asked mine. I stated "my favorite pair of socks". I've had em forever. These socks have the perfect fit, are soft and feel great when wearing. Their color hasn't faded, look great and the elastic is firm. The tragedy is through multiple marriages, numerous moves and many years one of the pair has been missing. We (the one sock and I) enjoy life and all around us with the hope that one day that missing sock will magically appear in the drawer.
Jim finished his beer, looked at me and said "you ain't quite right".

Don

gberger

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Re: Todays Smile
« Reply #2209 on: 28 Jul 2019, 03:30 pm »
During the Battle of Roliça (Napoleon was defeated, as his officers failed to carry out his orders), The French captured a British Colonel and took him to Napoleon, who questioned him without success.  Just as the Colonel was led away, Napoleon asked him why the British officers wore those scarlet coats.  The Colonel proudly answered: " Because if we are hit, the blood will not show, and the troops will not panic!"  Napoleon considered the answer, and called for pen and paper.  He scribbled an order - - and, from then on, his officers wore brown pants.

James Tanner

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Re: Todays Smile
« Reply #2210 on: 28 Jul 2019, 04:46 pm »
When you lack docking skills.




FireGuy

Re: Todays Smile
« Reply #2211 on: 28 Jul 2019, 05:03 pm »



James Tanner

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Re: Todays Smile
« Reply #2212 on: 30 Jul 2019, 11:33 am »



FullRangeMan

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Re: Todays Smile
« Reply #2213 on: 30 Jul 2019, 10:11 pm »
Pets are great

jhm731

Re: Todays Smile
« Reply #2214 on: 1 Aug 2019, 09:11 pm »



James Tanner

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Re: Todays Smile
« Reply #2215 on: 2 Aug 2019, 10:53 am »



James Tanner

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Re: Todays Smile
« Reply #2216 on: 5 Aug 2019, 02:30 pm »



weatherman1

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Re: Todays Smile
« Reply #2217 on: 6 Aug 2019, 05:08 am »



James Tanner

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Re: Todays Smile
« Reply #2218 on: 7 Aug 2019, 10:41 am »



mikeeastman

Re: Todays Smile
« Reply #2219 on: 8 Aug 2019, 02:13 pm »
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her.

One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."

"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me, Officer."

"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. "Where did you get all that
money? You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no," said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a golf course.

"A lot of golfers come and wee wee through a knot hole in my fence, right
into my flower garden.

"It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, why not make the best of it?

"So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20 or off it comes!'"

“Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Not everybody pays,” she said.