[jschwenker]

It’s been six months since I joined the gym and no progress has been made.
I’m going there in person tomorrow to see what’s going on.

[jschwenker]

What do you get when you cross the porch light wiring with the doorbell?
You get a dead ringer.

[jschwenker]

They said I’d never be any good at poetry because of my dyslexia.
Well, so far I’ve made 3 jugs and a vase and they’re really lovely.

[jschwenker]

I was drinking a beer and the bartender yelled “Does anyone know CPR?”
I said “I know the whole alphabet!”
Everyone laughed - well, except for this one guy...

[Scroof Neachy]

When the boys are out of the house

[jschwenker]

I hate spelling errors.
You mix up two letters and your whole text message is urined.

[mix4fix]

I hate spelling errors.
You mix up two letters and your whole text message is urined.

I hate spelling errors.
You mix up two letters and your whole text message is urined.

Cheers, John

 

[jschwenker]

If we’re only talking about looks, I’m a 6.
But if you take my personality, sense of humor and values into consideration...
I’m actually a strong 3.

 

[richidoo]

poetry

That one took me a while! 

[jschwenker]

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch?
Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

[Speedskater]

In Oz, the question was:
Which witch lived in which witch house?

both of these  are better aloud than read

[jschwenker]

Fun fact:
“Sugar” is the only word in English where “su” makes the “sh” sound.
Or at least I’m pretty sure that’s correct...

[dB Cooper]

 

[ArthurDent]

   Com'on dB, that's sick.

[cementhead]

Did you hear the crossed eyed teacher got fired? She couldn't control her pupils.

[jschwenker]

My memory’s going.
I can only remember the name of one Spice Girl.
I tell ya, it’s Scary.

[charmerci]

I'm putting this under Joke rather than Smile of the Day for obvious reasons. How did I miss this joke? Cheap and cheerful! (Unless you wasted money on this....)

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LPIJVdQkb1Q&pp=ygUKUm9jayBibG9jaw%3D%3D


And follow up.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VYjDXgPDU94

[mix4fix]

I'm putting this under Joke rather than Smile of the Day for obvious reasons. How did I miss this joke? Cheap and cheerful! (Unless you wasted money on this....)

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LPIJVdQkb1Q&pp=ygUKUm9jayBibG9jaw%3D%3D


And follow up.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VYjDXgPDU94

There have been numerous versions of that thru-out the years.

[BobM]

The only good part about either of those video's was the Teac 2340SX turntable at the very beginning, because I own one of those!

I really wonder what the wow and flutter measurements were on that little toy, and how in the world does it keep from spinning off the record at 45RPM on the inner grooves?

[jschwenker]

Teacher gave a class assignment to draw any nice picture.
After 5 minutes Ester submitted a blank page.
Teacher: Ester, what did you draw?
Ester: A cow eating the grass.
Teacher: But I don’t see any grass.
Ester: The cow ate it all.
Teacher: Okay. Where is the cow?
Ester: There is no more grass so the cow went away.
Teacher: