Joke of the Day

srb · « **Reply #1340 on:** 13 May 2015, 07:17 pm »

Quote from: sebrof on 13 May 2015, 06:44 pm

But Bob has a vowel??
I don't get it

Yes, but you can most likely solve the puzzle without buying a vowel. Sure, it's possible it could be Bab (for Barbara) or Bub (for Bubba), but the smart money is on Bob.

Bob in St. Louis · « **Reply #1341 on:** 13 May 2015, 07:23 pm »

Quote from: sebrof on 13 May 2015, 06:44 pm

But Bob has a vowel??
I don't get it

There's a "B" on each cheek. The "O" is ..... uhm.....right in the middle......
Get it now?

geezer · « **Reply #1342 on:** 13 May 2015, 07:24 pm »

It's a real estate joke: Location, Location, Location.

geezer · « **Reply #1343 on:** 13 May 2015, 07:29 pm »

Or should I say: Location, *, Location.

Bob in St. Louis · « **Reply #1344 on:** 13 May 2015, 07:33 pm »

apollophono · « **Reply #1345 on:** 13 May 2015, 07:46 pm »

I don't get it either.

OOOOO I get it now!!!

Bob2 · « **Reply #1346 on:** 13 May 2015, 08:22 pm »

So I have tried to get my wife to have mom tattooed on her butt.
That way when she stands on her head it says............WOW!

Ya know when you're retired there sometimes not a lot going on.........

Bob2 · « **Reply #1347 on:** 13 May 2015, 08:25 pm »

Quote from: Bob in St. Louis on 13 May 2015, 07:23 pm

There's a "B" on each cheek. The "O" is ..... uhm.....right in the middle......
Get it now?

So, Bob, I take it that you have the same tattoo?

Bob in St. Louis · « **Reply #1348 on:** 13 May 2015, 08:31 pm »

Everybody named "BOB" should have one.

Speaking of using an existing hole....("no", this is not me)

sebrof · « **Reply #1349 on:** 13 May 2015, 09:17 pm »

Quote from: Bob in St. Louis on 13 May 2015, 07:23 pm

There's a "B" on each cheek. The "O" is ..... uhm.....right in the middle......
Get it now?

Oh, I get it now. Thanks.
And thanks Apollo for not making me feel like I was the only one.

Makes me think of the Cheech and Chong record my brother used to have where the game show host is asking the obviously stoned guy the question to win the prize:
"What is your name?"
"Oh man, I know this one..."
"10 seconds, Bob."
"Wait a minute man, I know this"
"Begins with a B and ends with a B, Bob."

You get the picture

Bob in St. Louis · « **Reply #1350 on:** 13 May 2015, 09:22 pm »

That's Awesome!

thunderbrick · « **Reply #1351 on:** 13 May 2015, 10:46 pm »

Quote from: Bob2 on 13 May 2015, 08:22 pm

So I have tried to get my wife to have mom tattooed on her butt.
That way when she stands on her head it says............WOW!

Ya know when you're retired there sometimes not a lot going on.........

Guy 13 · « **Reply #1352 on:** 14 May 2015, 09:10 pm »

A jew gets pulled over for speeding.

Jew: Is there a problem, officer?

Officer: Sir, you were speeding.

Jew: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see y our license please?

Jew: I would give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Jew: Lost it four years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see... Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Jew: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Jew: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Jew: Yes, and I killed the owner.

Officer: You what?

Jew: Killed the owner, I had to self defense otherwise he would call the police and I would be in jail.

The Officer looks at the Jew and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes five police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Senior Officer: Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please! The Jew steps out of the vehicle.

Jew: Is there a problem sir?

Senior Officer: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and killed the owner.

Jew: Killed the owner?

Senior Officer: Is this your car, sir?

Jew: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.

Senior Officer: One of my officers claims that you don't have a driving license.

The Jew digs into his pocket takes out his license and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Senior Officer: Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license,

that you stole this car, and that you killed the owner.

Jew: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

sebrof · « **Reply #1353 on:** 14 May 2015, 10:07 pm »

Quote from: Guy 13 on 14 May 2015, 09:10 pm

A jew gets pulled over for speeding.

That's a funny one.
I've heard it before but never, umm, quite that version.

Bob in St. Louis · « **Reply #1354 on:** 14 May 2015, 11:48 pm »

Yea...I'm thinking that might be a rule breaker right there.

thunderbrick · « **Reply #1355 on:** 14 May 2015, 11:53 pm »

It sounded better when it was a little old lady of indeterminate religious faith...

brooklyn · « **Reply #1356 on:** 15 May 2015, 04:19 am »

Quote

A jew gets pulled over for speeding.

JakeJ · « **Reply #1357 on:** 15 May 2015, 07:50 am »

^^^^

Guy 13 · « **Reply #1358 on:** 15 May 2015, 12:50 pm »

Pappu rings a call centre and complaining about his Internet.
Pappu: My internet is not working properly.
Officer: Ok, Double click on "My computer"
Pappu: I can't see your computer.
Officer: No no, click on "My computer" on your computer.
Pappu: How can I click on your computer from my computer?
Officer: Listen, There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer. Ok double click on it.
Pappu: What the hell, what is your computer doing on my computer..?
Officer: Double click on your computer.
Pappu: On which Icon I've to click.
Officer: My Computer.
Pappu: Oh you fool......
Tell me where is your office. I'll come there and click on your "Computer."?

JerryM · « **Reply #1359 on:** 15 May 2015, 07:01 pm »