Joke of the Day

decal · « **Reply #740 on:** 14 Nov 2013, 02:14 pm »

Quote from: bside123 on 13 Nov 2013, 04:16 pm

Yea, but then there was the story about the cannibal who passed his brother in the forest...

Bob2 · « **Reply #741 on:** 14 Nov 2013, 06:24 pm »

Quote

Yea, but then there was the story about the cannibal who passed his brother in the forest

Dude... that is just wrong!

decal · « **Reply #742 on:** 28 Nov 2013, 04:30 pm »

Saw this on anotherv site I frequent, just had to share.................................. .......................b]

thunderbrick · « **Reply #743 on:** 28 Nov 2013, 04:40 pm »

THAT just ruined Thanksgiving dinner for a lot of folks.................

WireNut · « **Reply #744 on:** 28 Nov 2013, 04:45 pm »

I thought it was funny. Had to send it off to my daughter........

thunderbrick · « **Reply #745 on:** 28 Nov 2013, 04:56 pm »

I didn't say it wasn't funny. Or accurate. We're laughing at it as we prepare to gather for ~~football~~ to give thanks!

1oldguy · « **Reply #746 on:** 30 Nov 2013, 02:33 pm »

Who is the cleanest actor in Hollywood.
Why it's none other than Duston Offman.

FullRangeMan · « **Reply #747 on:** 3 Dec 2013, 10:46 am »

Power of Marketing:
Boy: -What are you asking for Christmas?
Girl: -I will ask for a Barbie, and you?
Boy: - I will ask for a Tampax or OB!
Girl: - What's this?
Boy: - I can not imagine ... but on television they say with Tampax or OB we can go to the beach every day, biking, horseback riding, dancing, going to the club, run, do a lot of things, and the best ... Without anyone noticing!

Woodsea · « **Reply #748 on:** 3 Dec 2013, 04:03 pm »

The mother-in-law arrives home from shopping to find her son-in-law boiling angry and hurriedly packing his suitcase. "What happened?" she asks anxiously.

"What happened, I'll tell you what happened. I sent an e-mail to my wife telling her I was coming home from my fishing trip today. I get home and guess what I found? Yes, your daughter, my Jean, with a naked guy in our marital bed! This is unforgivable, the end of our marriage. I'm done. I'm leaving forever!"

"Calm down, calm down!" says his mother-in-law. "There is something very odd going on here. Jean would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation. I'll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened."

Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile. "I told you there must be a simple explanation ...
She didn't get your e-mail!"

mikeeastman · « **Reply #749 on:** 3 Dec 2013, 04:22 pm »

Very funny!

decal · « **Reply #750 on:** 3 Dec 2013, 05:29 pm »

jhm731 · « **Reply #751 on:** 3 Dec 2013, 07:16 pm »

You don't need to understand Chinese:

http://www.ubergizmo.com/2012/12/elephant-eats-chinese-tourists-iphone-in-thailand-park/

Russell Dawkins · « **Reply #752 on:** 3 Dec 2013, 07:30 pm »

Quote from: jhm731 on 3 Dec 2013, 07:16 pm

You don't need to understand Chinese:

http://www.ubergizmo.com/2012/12/elephant-eats-chinese-tourists-iphone-in-thailand-park/

I think the joke's on us. Are we to believe an elephant has a transit time (ingestion to elimination) of minutes?

FullRangeMan · « **Reply #753 on:** 3 Dec 2013, 07:37 pm »

Quote from: jhm731 on 3 Dec 2013, 07:16 pm

You don't need to understand Chinese:

http://www.ubergizmo.com/2012/12/elephant-eats-chinese-tourists-iphone-in-thailand-park/

Wow, what a beautiful language, these girls talk sound like music.
And the phone owner dont want take the sheeted cel rs rs rs
Great video.

decal · « **Reply #754 on:** 3 Dec 2013, 11:27 pm »

The Obamacare Website is now fully functional. Click here then click on "Apply Now!".

ArthurDent · « **Reply #755 on:** 3 Dec 2013, 11:32 pm »

Oh well, just not quick enough.........

Guy 13 · « **Reply #756 on:** 3 Dec 2013, 11:43 pm »

Quote from: jhm731 on 3 Dec 2013, 07:16 pm

You don't need to understand Chinese:

http://www.ubergizmo.com/2012/12/elephant-eats-chinese-tourists-iphone-in-thailand-park/

Guy 13 · « **Reply #757 on:** 3 Dec 2013, 11:44 pm »

Quote from: decal on 3 Dec 2013, 11:27 pm

The Obamacare Website is now fully functional. Click here then click on "Apply Now!".

pumpkinman · « **Reply #758 on:** 4 Dec 2013, 01:00 am »

Quote from: decal on 3 Dec 2013, 11:27 pm

The Obamacare Website is now fully functional. Click here then click on "Apply Now!".

Tommy that's very funny

Bob in St. Louis · « **Reply #759 on:** 5 Dec 2013, 06:08 pm »

With the holidays upon us I would like to share a personal experience with my family & friends about drinking and driving. As you may know some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a "social session" out with friends. Well, three days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several cocktails, followed by some rather nice red wine. Feeling jolly I still had the sense to know that I may be over the limit. That's when I did something that I've never done before .. I took a cab home! Sure enough on the way home there was a police road block, but since it was a cab they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident. This was a real relief and surprise because I had never driven a cab before. I don't even know where I got it and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it!!!
===============================================

A black guy and a redneck go into a pastry shop.

The black guy whisks three cookies into his pocket with lightning speed.
The baker doesn't notice.

The black guy says to the redneck:
"You see how clever we are?
You rednecks can never beat that!"

The redneck says to the black guy:
"Watch this, any Redneck is smarter than that and I'll prove it to ya."

He says to the baker, "Give me a cookie, I'll show you a magic trick!"
The baker gives him the cookie, which the redneck promptly eats. Then he says to the baker:
"Give me another cookie for my magic trick."

The baker is getting suspicious, but he gives it to him.
He eats this one too.
Then he says again: "Give me one more cookie..."
The baker is getting angry now, but gives him one anyway.
The Redneck eats this one too.

Now the baker is really mad, and he yells:
"And where is your famous magic trick?"

The redneck says,
"Look in the black guys pocket!"