Joke of the Day

Bob2 · « **Reply #720 on:** 10 Nov 2013, 03:29 pm »

Quote

Two cannibals were eating their victim

Nice!

Bob in St. Louis · « **Reply #721 on:** 10 Nov 2013, 03:43 pm »

You guys are sick and twisted.

bside123 · « **Reply #722 on:** 10 Nov 2013, 03:50 pm »

The there was the cannibal that gave his sweetheart a box of Farmers Fannies for Valentine's Day.

bside123 · « **Reply #723 on:** 10 Nov 2013, 04:11 pm »

Two cannibal kids were fighting over dinner. One shouts, "Mommy, I hate my sister's guts!" Mommy cracks back, "Shut up, and eat what's put on your plate."

Bob2 · « **Reply #724 on:** 10 Nov 2013, 04:26 pm »

Quote

Two cannibal kids were fighting over dinner.

bside123, I can't keep up with that...so I 'll go in a different direction..

Joe stops by his local pub on his way home. Sipping a couple of drams of Bourbon he spots what appears to be the most beautiful woman he has ever seen.
Joe's eyes are riveted to the blue eyed blonde.
She notices Joe looking at her..
She walks over and smiles at him and whispers into his ear that for $200 she will do anything he wants.
Joe starts thinking...looks at her, retrieves his wallet from his back pocket, pulls $200 from it.

He hands her the money and says....Paint my house!

Bob2 · « **Reply #725 on:** 10 Nov 2013, 04:29 pm »

Not sure if this is sick enough...

What is green and skates?

Peggy Phlegm.

bside123 · « **Reply #726 on:** 10 Nov 2013, 05:12 pm »

Two cannibal kids are chasing their victim around the village, when Mom steps to the door and shouts, "How many times have I told you not to play with your food!?"

thunderbrick · « **Reply #727 on:** 10 Nov 2013, 11:28 pm »

The only people who like people are cannibals..................

I got that from an HR guy decades ago, who used that line when job applicants would say "I really like people!"

bside123 · « **Reply #728 on:** 10 Nov 2013, 11:33 pm »

Two cannibals finally ran down a evangelical missionary and got him in the soup pot. After boiling him for hours, they were looking forward to their sumptuous feast. When the meal tasted bad... one cannibal turned to the other and said, "I told you. He was a friar!"

decal · « **Reply #729 on:** 11 Nov 2013, 03:11 pm »

Bear interupts photo shoot.

http://www.youtube.com/embed/eryxAcsTcOA?rel=0

Ericus Rex · « **Reply #730 on:** 11 Nov 2013, 04:28 pm »

Quote from: decal on 11 Nov 2013, 03:11 pm

Bear interupts photo shoot.

http://www.youtube.com/embed/eryxAcsTcOA?rel=0

Clever!

aragon63 · « **Reply #731 on:** 11 Nov 2013, 11:07 pm »

A woman walks into a tattoo parlour.

'Do you do custom work?' she asks the artist.

'Why of course!'

'Good. I'd like a portrait of Robert Redford on the inside of my right thigh, and a portrait of Paul Newman on the inside of my left thigh.'

'No problem,' says the artist. 'Strip from the waist down and get up on the table.'

After two hours of hard work, the artist finishes. The woman sits up and examines the tattoos.

'That doesn't look like them!' she complains loudly.

'Oh yes it does,' the artist says indignantly, 'and I can prove it.' With that, he runs out of the shop and grabs the first man off the street he can find; it happens to be the town drunk.

'Well, what do you think?' the woman asks, spreading her legs. 'Do you know who these men are?'

The drunk studies the tattoos for a couple of minutes and says. 'I'm not sure who the guys on either side are, but the fellow in the middle is definately Willie Nelson!'

Bob2 · « **Reply #732 on:** 12 Nov 2013, 12:14 am »

So the old woman pulls up to the local biker club on here motorcycle. Gets off and bangs on the door as hard as she can.

In a couple of minutes a big bad biker probate comes to the door and says what do you want?

The old woman says I've been riding for over 50 years and want to join this club.

The probate thinks for a minute and tells the woman that they have a very strict rule for new members.

The old woman says oh yea! And what would that be?

The probate asks if she has ever been picked up by the fuzz..

The old woman thinks hard on that for a couple of minutes and finally says no but I've been swung around by my nipples a couple of times!

won ton on · « **Reply #733 on:** 12 Nov 2013, 01:13 am »

aragon63......LOL good one

ServerAdmin · « **Reply #734 on:** 13 Nov 2013, 09:46 am »

Move to Quarantine for consideration. We'd ask members to be considerate of the posting guidelines and the feelings of other members - while any "Jokes" section can be expected to allow some leeway for levity, it is not a free-for-all.

Thank you

jarcher · « **Reply #735 on:** 13 Nov 2013, 03:07 pm »

Why quarantine, may I ask? I like JOD & would like to see it stick around. Those easily offended are welcome not to click the link. Haven't seen anyone lately mention politics, religion, or guns....

bside123 · « **Reply #736 on:** 13 Nov 2013, 03:11 pm »

I apologize if I somehow offended any cannibals in any way.

ArthurDent · « **Reply #737 on:** 13 Nov 2013, 03:18 pm »

Quote from: bside123 on 13 Nov 2013, 03:11 pm

I apologize if I somehow offended any cannibals in any way.

I'm sure they didn't consider it in bad taste Din.

thunderbrick · « **Reply #738 on:** 13 Nov 2013, 04:11 pm »

bside123 · « **Reply #739 on:** 13 Nov 2013, 04:16 pm »

Yea, but then there was the story about the cannibal who passed his brother in the forest...