I have been through a binge of house updates over the past 3 years, after doing very few things to the house for the first 6 (having 2 kids under 3 will do that for you!).
My wife and I got through it OK, but it can be tough at times for sure. The basement was the easiest (very little input needed from anyone else, and the space was physically removed from the day to day life in the house), and the back yard the hardest. The kitchen went surprisingly smoothly, since I spent a lot of time teasing out what she wanted prior to any hammers swinging.
We are very happy with what we have done to the place, and hopefully we will recover some of the $ in the event we sell.
As for hot dates, well now that the kids are 9 and 11 that still ain't happening much anyway
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