Joke of the Day

Super Hans · « **Reply #2321 on:** 11 Apr 2018, 02:14 am »

Her, " That thing you said about doing a doo doo on the man's car. That was a joke right ? "

Him, "Of course it was. He didn't see it that way though."

Shakeydeal · « **Reply #2322 on:** 11 Apr 2018, 10:43 am »

Quote from: Super Hans on 11 Apr 2018, 02:14 am

Her, " That thing you said about doing a doo doo on the man's car. That was a joke right ? "

Him, "Of course it was. He didn't see it that way though."

thunderbrick · « **Reply #2323 on:** 11 Apr 2018, 01:09 pm »

mikeeastman · « **Reply #2324 on:** 11 Apr 2018, 01:33 pm »

How to be cruel to old guys: AARP Eye Chart

mikeeastman · « **Reply #2325 on:** 12 Apr 2018, 01:53 pm »

won ton on · « **Reply #2326 on:** 12 Apr 2018, 03:07 pm »

mikeeastman 2 good ones LOL

mikeeastman · « **Reply #2327 on:** 13 Apr 2018, 02:06 pm »

JerryM · « **Reply #2328 on:** 14 Apr 2018, 08:34 pm »

A young woman is checking out at the grocery store. She notices the guy behind the register and thinks he's pretty cute.

He starts to scan her items. A soup for one. A small tube to toothpaste. One roll of toilet paper. One bar of soap. A pint of milk. And a Cosmopolitan magazine.

"I'll bet you're single," he says to her.

She beams looking back at him.

"I am," she says. "How could you tell?"

He smiles and says: "'cause you're ugly."

srb · « **Reply #2329 on:** 14 Apr 2018, 08:46 pm »

Quote from: JerryM on 14 Apr 2018, 08:34 pm

He smiles and says: "'cause you're ugly."

More mean than funny.
?

jhm731 · « **Reply #2330 on:** 14 Apr 2018, 10:01 pm »

JLM · « **Reply #2331 on:** 15 Apr 2018, 12:52 am »

jhm731, I resemble that remark.

JakeJ · « **Reply #2332 on:** 15 Apr 2018, 02:17 am »

Here's another member of the "Now where the hell did I put that screwdriver?" club.

dflee · « **Reply #2333 on:** 15 Apr 2018, 01:16 pm »

And then you realize it's in your hand.
As Iv'e gotten older I am thinking more and more about the here after.
I walk into a room and think "what the heck did I come in here after"?

Don

Goosepond · « **Reply #2334 on:** 15 Apr 2018, 01:38 pm »

That joke would be a lot funnier if it wasn't so true!!!

Gene

Wind Chaser · « **Reply #2335 on:** 15 Apr 2018, 04:28 pm »

Quote from: JakeJ on 15 Apr 2018, 02:17 am

Here's another member of the "Now where the hell did I put that screwdriver?" club.

I once spent 45 minutes looking everywhere for a screwdriver retracing my steps over and over again only to find it was in my pocket the whole time.

FireGuy · « **Reply #2336 on:** 15 Apr 2018, 04:49 pm »

Bizarroterl · « **Reply #2337 on:** 15 Apr 2018, 05:21 pm »

Quote from: JerryM on 14 Apr 2018, 08:34 pm

A young woman is checking out at the grocery store. She notices the guy behind the register and thinks he's pretty cute.

He starts to scan her items. A soup for one. A small tube to toothpaste. One roll of toilet paper. One bar of soap. A pint of milk. And a Cosmopolitan magazine.

"I'll bet you're single," he says to her.

She beams looking back at him.

"I am," she says. "How could you tell?"

He smiles and says: "'cause you're ugly."

On a scale of 1 - 10 in funny (10 funniest) that gets a -5.

JerryM · « **Reply #2338 on:** 15 Apr 2018, 07:26 pm »

Quote from: Bizarroterl on 15 Apr 2018, 05:21 pm

On a scale of 1 - 10 in funny (10 funniest) that gets a -5.

Sweet!

jhm731 · « **Reply #2339 on:** 15 Apr 2018, 08:53 pm »

Two old friends met by chance on the street. After chatting for some time, one said to the other, "I'm terribly sorry, but I've forgotten your name. You'll need to tell me."

The other stared at him thoughtfully for a long time, then replied, "How soon do you need to know?"