A man wakes up in the hospital and finds himself bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. You probably don't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."
The man groans, but the doctor continues to explain, "You have $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build you a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch."
The man perks up. "So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But, I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. And then, if you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."
The man agrees to talk it over with his wife and will let the doctor know of their decision.
The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"
"Yes I have," says the man. "And has she helped you make a decision?"
"Yes" says the man. "OK, What is your decision?" asks the doctor.
"We will be getting the granite counter tops."
