I don't have an answer, but just wanted to say I feel your pain.
It's easy for someone to say, what's the big deal? Gain's a good thing, right? So you hit your normal listening levels at 10 on the dial instead of 12 or 1. Just listen at 10 now.
In fact, I used to think the same thing until I got an amp that had enough gain that it happened to me. Yes, you hit the "normal" SPL at a lower setting on the dial, but as you (and I) learned, the immediate consequence of that is that your volume control loses a large degree of its utility. Even if "10" now gets you precisely the volume you want (which it sounds like it doesn't, for you), you can no longer make fine adjustments, especially if the control is stepped or has physical detents. You can't adjust one way or the other without going too far, sometimes even when turning the knob by hand instead of remote.
I wish you luck in your search for a solution. In my case, it was solved by a change in preamp. I didn't change because of that, but just as a general upgrade. I was fortunate it mated well with the high-gain amps. But then, they're all from the same company and were made to work together, so maybe luck didn't factor in it after all.