Joke of the Day

Letitroll98 · « **Reply #800 on:** 8 Jan 2014, 01:08 pm »

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghi t pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

thunderbrick · « **Reply #801 on:** 8 Jan 2014, 01:46 pm »

I could read it just fine. I'm fluent in SEC athletics.

JCarney · « **Reply #802 on:** 8 Jan 2014, 01:57 pm »

Quote from: thunderbrick on 8 Jan 2014, 01:46 pm

I could read it just fine. I'm fluent in SEC athletics.

Good one thunderbrick, I burst out on that one.

I could read it, but I aint right,
JCarney

Guy 13 · « **Reply #803 on:** 8 Jan 2014, 02:20 pm »

Hi Letitroll98 and all Audio Circle members.
Easy, a piece of cake.
Of all, only one word took me two second to read.
Thanks, that`s good stuff.

Guy 13

decal · « **Reply #804 on:** 8 Jan 2014, 02:50 pm »

Quote from: thunderbrick on 8 Jan 2014, 01:46 pm

I could read it just fine. I'm fluent in SEC athletics.

GO Noles !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thunderbrick · « **Reply #805 on:** 8 Jan 2014, 03:58 pm »

Quote from: decal on 8 Jan 2014, 02:50 pm

GO Noles !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Glass houses, Decal, glass houses!

JLM · « **Reply #806 on:** 8 Jan 2014, 04:45 pm »

The last joke reminds me of speed reading class.

apollophono · « **Reply #807 on:** 8 Jan 2014, 08:28 pm »

I could read that, but one word had me baffled. I have a ???? mind?
Let me be the first to accept your offer of giving away your system
for free.

Oh, that isn't what it said? My bad.

Letitroll98 · « **Reply #808 on:** 9 Jan 2014, 01:12 am »

Quote from: apollophono on 8 Jan 2014, 08:28 pm

I could read that, but one word had me baffled. I have a ???? mind?
Let me be the first to accept your offer of giving away your system
for free. Oh, that isn't what it said? My bad.

No, you were right, stop on over tonight and it's yours. Teh assderds si 9214 Ramtrun Crilce, Mutuan, JN 80150

thunderbrick · « **Reply #809 on:** 10 Jan 2014, 03:50 pm »

What is celibacy? Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.

While attending a Marriage Weekend, Bill and his wife Ann listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other." He then addressed the men. "Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?"

Bill leaned over, touched Ann's arm gently, and whispered, "Gold Medal-All-Purpose, isn't it?"

Thus began Bill's life of celibacy.

decal · « **Reply #810 on:** 11 Jan 2014, 08:11 pm »

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.

She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand..

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.
For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well

Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.
Two o'clock and no hired hand.

Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room,

he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her..

"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots."

He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks."

He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

"Now take off my skirt."

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

"Now take off my bra.." Again, with Trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."

srb · « **Reply #811 on:** 11 Jan 2014, 08:17 pm »

Also a previous topic by itself from thunderbrick
The Ranch Hand

decal · « **Reply #812 on:** 13 Jan 2014, 02:10 pm »

SENIORS TEXTING CODES

ATD At The Doctors

BFF Best Friend Fell

BTW Bring The Wheelchair

BYOT Bring Your Own Teeth

FWIW Forgot Where I Was

GGPBL Gotta Go Pacemaker Battery Low

GHA Got Heartburn Again

IMHO Is My Hearing-Aid On

LMDO Laughing My Dentures Out

OMMR On My Massage Recliner

OMSG Oh My! Sorry Gas

ROFLACGU Rolling On Floor Laughing And Can't Get Up

jhm731 · « **Reply #813 on:** 13 Jan 2014, 05:07 pm »

Senior Moments:

http://www.youtube.com/embed/Xv1tMioGgXI?rel=0

mikeeastman · « **Reply #814 on:** 13 Jan 2014, 05:19 pm »

I laugh so hard I think I hurt something

Great vidio.

dflee · « **Reply #815 on:** 13 Jan 2014, 05:49 pm »

You know that your getting old when you start thinking about the "Here After".
(That's when you walk into a room and try to remember what you came in here after).

Don

Bob in St. Louis · « **Reply #816 on:** 14 Jan 2014, 09:29 pm »

STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM

Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
* his last battle

Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
* at the bottom of the page

Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?
* liquid

Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
* marriage

Q5. What is the main reason for failure?
* exams

Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?
* Lunch & dinner

Q7. What looks like half an apple?
* The other half

Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
* It will simply become wet

Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ?
* No problem, he sleeps at night.

Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
* You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..

Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ?
* Very large hands

Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
* No time at all, the wall is already built.

Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
*Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

thunderbrick · « **Reply #817 on:** 15 Jan 2014, 02:55 am »

Bobby Joe Bill and Billy Joe Bob are in the cheap seats at a Georgia football game, and at halftime the Georgia band comes out to perform.

Georgia's mascot, Uga the bulldog, comes out to the 50-yard line, plops down and starts to lick his own balls.

Bobby Joe Bill says to Billy Joe Bob "Whooeee! Look at that dawg! He's licking his nuts!"

Billy Joe Bob looks to Bobby Joe Bill and says "Hot damn! Ah wish ah could do that!"

Bobby Joe Bill "You some kinda stupid? That dawg'd bite you!"

jhm731 · « **Reply #818 on:** 15 Jan 2014, 05:55 am »

You must have attended the Westboro Baptist Church school.

thunderbrick · « **Reply #819 on:** 15 Jan 2014, 01:42 pm »

No, but I did live in Georgia for awhile.