Help I'm Married!!

bkatbamna · « **Reply #40 on:** 5 Jan 2009, 09:57 pm »

In the spirit of this thread:

What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes.

Nothing, you've already told her twice.

fiveoclockfriday · « **Reply #41 on:** 5 Jan 2009, 09:59 pm »

I'm surprised only one person (?!) mentioned any kind of "yours, mine, and ours" technique. If you and your spouse both bring in income, I highly recommend it. Basically, each time we get paid a chunk of money goes into "our" account, which is used for mortgage, other bills, retirement savings, etc. Then what's left from our paychecks after the predetermined chunk goes to individual checking accounts. This money is ours to use free and clear. We can do what we want without any comments from the other person (within reason, obviously 6 ft electrostats in the living room would be a problem for a different reason).

We haven't been married very long, but this seems like the best approach. Everyone values some things more than others (I would never want as many shoes as my wife, but she would never understand why I would replace a perfectly good CD player with something very similar), and this way there's no guilt or begging or anything. Obviously for truly high ticket items, it might take awhile to save up enough, but with all the credit problems and economic problems, I'm not sure that's so bad.

-Eric

pardales · « **Reply #42 on:** 5 Jan 2009, 10:02 pm »

Quote from: bkatbamna on 5 Jan 2009, 09:57 pm

In the spirit of this thread: "what he thought was a funny joke about domestic violence"

A poor attempt at humor about domestic violence IS NOT in the spirit of this thread or most of what happens at AC in my experience. Seriously consider erasing that post.

arthurs · « **Reply #43 on:** 5 Jan 2009, 10:06 pm »

Quote from: pardales on 5 Jan 2009, 10:02 pm

Quote from: bkatbamna on 5 Jan 2009, 09:57 pm
In the spirit of this thread: "what he thought was a funny joke about domestic violence"

That IS NOT in the spirit of this thread or most of what happens at AC. Seriously consider erasing that post.

x2, please get rid of that...it's already clear the wife of the OP is reading this thread...

TONEPUB · « **Reply #44 on:** 5 Jan 2009, 10:19 pm »

I discussed hifi and cars with my wife before we got married and told her
that those two things weren't negotiable.

She's got her interests and I've got mine. Before I had the audio thing as a job,
we always had a pretty easy time of justifying what we wanted. If we had the
extra money, it was cool and I never snuck anything past her.

After 17 years, we still see eye to eye on the money thing, so I've found just
being straightforward has been the best approach. My wife is very reasonable.

Intamin · « **Reply #45 on:** 5 Jan 2009, 10:42 pm »

Quote from: DARTH AUDIO on 5 Jan 2009, 02:13 pm

The two D's!! Divorce & Date!! Buy any audio equipment you want and you'll have more sex than your married friends!! And no-one tells me what to do.. Life is good!! aa

I think that may be the greatest and funniest advice I've ever heard.

For me, I just say what I'm doing and talk about why I like it. She hates hearing about it enough that she just tunes me out and it's not a problem. Then again, I haven't spent that much yet, but I am still young.

hmen · « **Reply #46 on:** 5 Jan 2009, 10:43 pm »

"I'm telling you honey, once I get this upgrade I'll be able to play the stereo at much lower volume and still enjoy it".

jethro · « **Reply #47 on:** 9 Jan 2009, 11:04 pm »

Sorry, but I seem to be unable to do anything about bkatbamna's post.

ashtarul · « **Reply #48 on:** 10 Jan 2009, 04:29 pm »

This is too funny. I guess audiophile minds think alike. I should get my wife to read this thread, and while she's distracted, I'll sneak out and get my new gear.

Ash.

sorenj07 · « **Reply #49 on:** 10 Jan 2009, 04:34 pm »

...never mind.

werd · « **Reply #50 on:** 21 Feb 2009, 07:43 pm »

Bryston doesnt require a price paid on your receipts for service. So get your dealer to write the down payment on final bill of sale and dont include the full price. Just make sure it says paid in full... lol i buy all my gear on the sly from my wife....I'd be the one with the black eyes if she found out how much this stuff costs.

werd · « **Reply #51 on:** 23 Feb 2009, 04:52 pm »

Quote from: predrag on 5 Jan 2009, 07:21 pm

Hello you all! I am Predrag's wife. I got a good laugh reading all your posts here and took liberty to give you some advice from my (our experience). I was a tough cookie at first while Predrag was still shopping for his ''toys''. However, when he actually did spend a fortune and bought everything one could ever possibly want from a perfect system, I was quite honored that he brought home what I initially recognized to be the best combo of speakers and hi-gi gear. Now, few days ago when he honestly, like a little boy scared to admit a bad grade report, came to me and told me about his f*** UPGRADE, I decided not to act immediately. Later that night, ''in the privacy of our own bedroom'', I kindly ask him to accompany me to a diamonds store, and he wholeheartedly AGREED!!!! When he asked how much will that trip short him, I quoted a little smaller amount than what his upgrade costed. Guys, I am so happy and look forward to more upgrades for many years to come...mutually beneficial ones, of course. That's all from me. Wish you all the best and when you spend on yourselves, keep your better half in mind as well and she will be happy with you. Cheers!

Maybe u can get her to agree on some of those B&W speakers that use the diamonds in the tweeters. U know kinda meet half way on it..lol

charmerci · « **Reply #52 on:** 23 Feb 2009, 10:40 pm »

How about something in the other direction?

First remind her that your spending the money to stay at home, not drinking at some bar (then driving) or running around with another woman then find a really beautiful love song that sounds like the performers are in the room, put her in the sweet spot and say "This is for you."

Scottdazzle · « **Reply #53 on:** 23 Feb 2009, 11:17 pm »

Quote from: fiveoclockfriday on 5 Jan 2009, 09:59 pm

I'm surprised only one person (?!) mentioned any kind of "yours, mine, and ours" technique. If you and your spouse both bring in income, I highly recommend it. Basically, each time we get paid a chunk of money goes into "our" account, which is used for mortgage, other bills, retirement savings, etc. Then what's left from our paychecks after the predetermined chunk goes to individual checking accounts. This money is ours to use free and clear. We can do what we want without any comments from the other person (within reason, obviously 6 ft electrostats in the living room would be a problem for a different reason).

We haven't been married very long, but this seems like the best approach. Everyone values some things more than others (I would never want as many shoes as my wife, but she would never understand why I would replace a perfectly good CD player with something very similar), and this way there's no guilt or begging or anything. Obviously for truly high ticket items, it might take awhile to save up enough, but with all the credit problems and economic problems, I'm not sure that's so bad.

-Eric

My wife and I have had yours, mine, and ours accounts for 22 years. It works like a charm and we never argue about money.

The only thing we do different from Eric is that we each get the same amount in the yours and mine accounts, no matter who has more to put in the ours account.

Bigfish · « **Reply #54 on:** 23 Feb 2009, 11:25 pm »

Quote from: ashtarul on 4 Jan 2009, 09:27 pm

Married guys will know what I'm on about.

When the 'upgrade' bug bites, how do you justify/convince your other half that your perfectly working hifi needs upgrading.....again?

All comments/suggestions whether real or made-up are welcomed as I've ran out of excuses.

Ash

Ash:

I love this thread and really like many of the creative answers that have been posted. In all honesty I suspect most of the married guys practice the following: "It is easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask her for permission." While she is upset you will at least be enjoying the new piece of gear.

Ken

richidoo · « **Reply #55 on:** 23 Feb 2009, 11:40 pm »

A wise audiophile friend once told me to allot 50% for acoustic treatment, 25% speakers, the rest to whatever else. But from this thread I have learned it is really 25% acoustics, 12.5% speakers, 12.5% whatever else, and 50% domestic protection/payoff/bribery. "Fair" is a 4 letter word...

djbnh · « **Reply #56 on:** 23 Feb 2009, 11:47 pm »

My wife likes my audio hobby. I feel it helps that she enjoys and appreciates music.

She's so far been enthusiastic in us spending some discretionary $: to upgrade my speaker XOs, and 2) jumping on board, when we were in C City the other day and I saw a Denon AVR marked down very nicely, agreeing that it was a nice opportunity to do get the unit to improve things in the AV arena (I have a separate listening room for audio, so the AV side has kind of been neglected.). Seems she's also agreeable to getting more AV speakers now that the Denon is in play.

Of course, we've only been married since October, but being open and talking about things seems to be working well at this early date for us.

Stu Pitt · « **Reply #57 on:** 24 Feb 2009, 12:18 am »

Honesty is the best policy IMO. She's known since day one how I feel about my gear. Not that it was anything special back then, nor did she know how much it cost. Here's the way I look at it...

She spends more on a single hair cut than I spend all year combined for mine. Not even close.

I haven't gotten a single manicure nor perdicure (not that I want one). She's had plenty.

How many pocketbooks does she have?

She has at least 15 pairs of shoes for every pair I have. They ain't cheap either.

We have a large double closet in our bedroom. I have less than 1/8 of the space in it.

I have a necklace and a wedding ring. How much jewelery does she have?

I learned the hard way that you can't be confrontational about this stuff. We had an arguement about it when I told her I was contemplating buying a $2500 Corum watch. After the dust settled and we both calmed down, she realized how little I actually spend on myself. Not that she really ever gave me problems about this stuff before, but she has never given me a problem since. I didn't buy the watch after all that. Not because of the price - I found something I liked better for far cheaper.

Everyone has something stupid they spend way too much money on. Think of all the things your friends or family members spend money on. My mother collects Department 56 Christmas houses. She's got at least as much in that as I do in audio gear. I have no idea why anyone would want those damn things. My father's camera and everything that goes with it is way more than I'd ever pay. Its not like he's a photographer. My brother's mountain bikes aren't exactly cheap. Does he really need 6?

People think our hobby is pretty stupid, yet they forget how stupid their's may be to other people.

The other day, a friend of mine looked at me like I was out of my mind when he heard I spent $1k on a CD player. I laughed and said 'This coming from a guy who's got about $5k worth of WWF and Star Wars toys in his basement.'

WerTicus · « **Reply #58 on:** 24 Feb 2009, 12:49 am »

I never bothered to tell my Mrs how much anything is costing, I was into audio before her and my speakers were harder to acquire than she was!

Besides there has been plenty of times when I come home to find the house shaking to celen dion or some crap she likes

werd · « **Reply #59 on:** 24 Feb 2009, 12:53 am »

funny