[Folsom]

My grandmother is looking at lots of options now that her husband passed away.

We looked what I'd say was a decently nice place that had cottages in the little community area "for sale". However they're basically next to the apartments. Most of the places are separate independent living. Lots amenities.

$290k down
$1.6k a month

I think it's a 3bd 2bt or something, double garage. You get 85% of the $290k back after you move on (to apartment or from this existence).

WHAT? I don't care if you're a billionaire, you don't have to that smart to understand that if you live in a place like that for 20-30 years that you'll pay rent for a place that's worth upwards of half a million, on top of only receiving a very depreciated $246.5k back (or to inherit). Yes they provide some stuff, but no more than a gym $30-80/month and $30-200/month club.

When I heard this it went in one ear and out the other, no comprehension of what I just heard. My grandmother and mother had to explain to me what I heard.

[Meicheng]

Senior living/assisted living has lots of different options, but one thing that remains constant is that it is fairly expensive.  My mother lives in a place that provides nursing care if you need it, otherwise you live in your apartment, partake of the facilities and activities, and pay something like $5,500 month on top of a hefty buy-in.  This whole topic is kind of unrelated to audio ...

[srb]

This whole topic is kind of unrelated to audio ...

And that's why it was posted in Non-audio hobbies and interests >> Home Improvements and Renovations 

[SoCalWJS]

The truth is that any form of assisted living for Seniors is expensive, sometimes VERY EXPENSIVE.

We all really need to plan ahead to figure out how we will care for our loved ones as they enter this stage in our lives, or how we ourselves wish to spend our "Golden Years" (cue Bowie). The various Graduated Care facilities are probably the best option IMO.

My MIL is about at that stage and I cringe when I think about it. She has a decent retirement, but nothing amazing. May be a bit of a stretch. Probably be a bit of a fight when the time comes.

[Folsom]

Those figures are non-assisted.

[JLM]

Senior living options are everywhere and expensive as the baby boomers become the elder boomers.  (The prices you quoted are very high for my area.)  You can spend 50 years in the same place and then move 4 times in the last 5 years (very disruptive to the elderly, even if a full range of services are provided on the same site).  Why would she need a 3 bedroom place (to fill/clean/feel lonely in)?  (As elders move to more acute levels of care their facilities shrink.) 

What is your grandmother's condition (physically/mentally frail, able to drive, memory loss, incontinent)?  How old is she?  Would she be living next to children/grandchildren?  Can family be counted on to provide daily/weekly support?  Is she socially active?  It would be easy for someone in her situation to withdraw in a cottage.  Is she able to take part in making this decision?  Does she have a legal/medical guardian appointed?  How about a mother in-law addition to a family member's house or sharing a duplex with a family member?

You mention 20 - 30 years.  Recommend you search the web for actuarial calculators do determine just how many years to plan/budget for (add 5 years).  As a grandson you probably won't have much say in any of this.  Trying asking the right questions.

[timind]

My mother passed away recently leaving my 85 year-old-dad wondering what to do with himself. He's still pretty active and has a sharp mind. He looked into one of these type places and was shocked at the price. They wanted $100k down and $1800 per month for a one bedroom apartment.

One of the problems as I see it is, a lot of these folks are depression era people who don't part with their money easy. He's in no hurry to move in.

[JLM]

Dad started having mini-strokes about 3 years after Mom passed.  He'd always been very sharp and except for having type 2 diabetes was in good health.  We took turns checking in on him, I developed a continually updated medical status that was very helpful, but eventually we had to use daytime care that before the end turned into around the clock care.  But he was able to stay at home except for hospitalizations and a couple of months in nursing homes to rehab.  He was a farmer and staying home was vitally important to him.  Fortunately we knew local women we could trust that worked cheap (the primary stayed upstairs which was mutually beneficial especially during blizzards).

Near us, the best independent living option is a converted high school that is cheap (subsidized, starting around $400/month) and a couple of blocks from a grocery and a small downtown.  A local dial-a-ride service can take them to doctor appointments and elsewhere in the county.

After the passing of a spouse it's best to not make major decisions for several months.  Take things slow and easy.  Don't smother but be highly available.  Listen to them and their needs.  If parent/grandparent are in good health and mind, just help to fill the void.  If they need to move or need more care, contact a social worker at a nearby not-for-profit nursing home for ideas.  Every state/locality is different.  I recently started volunteering for our county respite organization where we offer a break for caregivers and found an amazing number (hundreds) of resources that are available in our rural county.