Joke of the Day

jschwenker · « **Reply #3220 on:** 24 Sep 2023, 12:57 pm »

I always get confused with the differences between elves, fairies, sprites and pixies, etc..
I guess I just don’t understand the gnomenclature.

jschwenker · « **Reply #3221 on:** 27 Sep 2023, 03:31 pm »

My friend says his wife was putting glue all over his rifle collection.
She denies it but he’s sticking to his guns.

jschwenker · « **Reply #3222 on:** 2 Oct 2023, 12:04 am »

I’ve never tried the tablets.
I’ve got viagra eye drops though.
They don’t work but they make me look hard.

I.Greyhound Fan · « **Reply #3223 on:** 3 Oct 2023, 06:08 pm »

My wife and I just adopted the cutest little lap dog. No one wanted her because she has 2 vagina's.

We named her Snatches.

Scroof Neachy · « **Reply #3224 on:** 3 Oct 2023, 08:55 pm »

opnly bafld · « **Reply #3225 on:** 3 Oct 2023, 09:07 pm »

‘Fifty years ago.....23-year-old girl every night.
but I'm sleeping with a 69-year-old woman.

She has been 69 for 4 years?

mix4fix · « **Reply #3226 on:** 8 Oct 2023, 03:35 am »

As a Dutch, I get offended if people don’t split the bill.

jschwenker · « **Reply #3227 on:** 9 Oct 2023, 08:32 pm »

This morning I accidentally used the dog's shampoo.
I feel like such a good boy!

jschwenker · « **Reply #3228 on:** 16 Oct 2023, 08:43 pm »

My friend designed an invisible airplane…
I can’t see it taking off.

Letitroll98 · « **Reply #3229 on:** 25 Oct 2023, 02:44 pm »

As I get older I have started missing all the people I've lost over the years.

Perhaps a career as a trail guide wasn't the best choice.

Scroof Neachy · « **Reply #3230 on:** 25 Oct 2023, 03:56 pm »

LanceCole · « **Reply #3231 on:** 25 Oct 2023, 08:08 pm »

Good one! Thanks for posting.

jschwenker · « **Reply #3232 on:** 27 Oct 2023, 02:22 am »

A policeman spotted an elderly lady driving while knitting.
“Pullover!” he said.
She said “No, it’s a scarf"

mix4fix · « **Reply #3233 on:** 20 Nov 2023, 10:13 pm »

1 + 9 + 8 = 1

one + nine + eight = one

one + nine + eight = one

o + n + e = one

one = one

mix4fix · « **Reply #3234 on:** 20 Nov 2023, 10:36 pm »

I wonder how many times it took to come up with SpaghettiOs...

SpaghettiAs

SpaghettiBs

SpaghettiCs

Spaghetti...

jschwenker · « **Reply #3235 on:** 23 Nov 2023, 03:00 am »

The medical term for owning too many dogs?…

A roverdose.

Zuman · « **Reply #3236 on:** 23 Nov 2023, 02:43 pm »

1 + 9 + 8 = 1

one + nine + eight = one

one + nine + eight = one

o + n + e = one

one = one

That WOULD be cool, except 1+9+8 actually equals 18...

jschwenker · « **Reply #3237 on:** 27 Nov 2023, 03:52 pm »

According to my chocolate advent calendar there are only 3 days left until Christmas!

jschwenker · « **Reply #3238 on:** 28 Nov 2023, 11:37 pm »

My therapist told me to write letters to everyone who’s hurt me and then burn them.

I’ve done that.

Now what do I do with the letters?

weatherman1 · « **Reply #3239 on:** 29 Nov 2023, 05:59 am »