[mix4fix]

"Good morning, slut!"

The Big Bang Theory

[mix4fix]

"I saw a UFO once, man. It was just hanging there in the sky. Then it sent me a message, in big bright yellow letters. I told me I was gonna have a good year."

That '70s Show

[mix4fix]

"I reject your reality, and substitute my own.,"

Mythbusters

[mix4fix]

"Hey, if you got a second - stop staring at my boobs!"

2 Broke Girls

[Samac]

“It’s a dog eat dog world and I’m wearing Milkbone underwear”. - Norm

Cheers,

Scott

[mix4fix]

"Section 12, launch bay alpha, stand by to launch fighter probe."
"Acknowledged. Input recorded and functioning."
"Vector coordinates coded and transferred, acknowledge?"
"Acknowledged. Ready to launch."
"Core systems, transferring control to probe craft, launch when ready."

Battlestar Galactica

[mix4fix]

"You're a doctor and Mom's a lawyer, and you're both successful in everything and that's great! But maybe I was born to be a regular person and have a regular life. If you weren't a doctor, I wouldn't love you less, because you're my dad. So rather than feeling disappointed because I'm not like you, maybe you should accept who I am and love me anyway, because I'm your son."
"Theo... that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life! No wonder you get D's in everything! You're afraid to try because you're afraid your brain is going to explode and it's going to ooze out of your ears. Now I'm telling you, you are going to try as hard as you can. And you're going to do it because I said so. I am your father. I brought you into this world, and I'll take you out!"

The Cosby Show

[mix4fix]

"I'm Larry. This is my brother Darryl. This is my other brother Darryl."

Newhart

[mix4fix]

"Who you calling ugly, sucker?"
"I'm calling you ugly, I could push your face in some dough and make gorilla cookies."

Sanford and Son

[mix4fix]

"New medical research shows that men and women have different food cravings, men preferring meat and women preferring sweets. Scientists trace this back to caveman days, when men had to go out and hunt for food while women sat on their fat asses eating chocolates."

Saturday Night Live

[mix4fix]

"Who are safer drivers? Men or women? Well, according to a new survey, 55% of adults feel that women are most responsible for minor fender-benders, while 78% blame men for most fatal crashes. Please note that the percentages in these pie graphs do not add up to 100% because the math was done by a woman."
"For those of you hissing at that joke, it should be uh noted that that joke was written by a woman. So, now you don't know what the hell to do, do ya? Nah, I'm just kidding. We don't hire women."

Saturday Night Live