Which one of you guys was this?

Having "the talk" with Dad didn't help, he still felt competent, and obviously didn't want to give up the independence. So we simply removed a needed part, rendering the car un-drivable. The next time his drivers license came up for renewal we swapped it for a state issued I.D. card. The hardest part was getting him to sign over accounts (or just make us joint with him). He didn't want to give up control, but in fact he'd already lost it, signing over just made the transition easier.

The key for anyone in their later years to to have a support system in place (that you can trust) for day to day care, running the finances, and interfacing with the medical field.

BobM · « **Reply #12 on:** 16 Jan 2015, 01:46 pm »

My Dad had a strange dementia event that he doesn;t remember at all. Apparently at his senior living home, his eyes unfocused and he stood up and started blabbering some nonesense during dinner one night. He didn't get violent and he didn't pass out, but he was definitely somewhere else at the time. The doctors suspected a mild stroke of some type.

He didn't believe it at first, but when every one of his friends confirmed it he got scared and gave me the keys to his car saying he didn't want to think about what might happen if this occurred while he was driving. Well, that was the beginning of the end. Losing his freedom to go wherever he wanted put him into a depression which just spirled one thing into another until he passed. Those were tough months.

a.wayne · « **Reply #13 on:** 16 Jan 2015, 04:05 pm »

Sorry to hear this , i myself went thru a similar situation with mine a few years back and yes most do spirial away when independence is lost , the fact that your Dad gave you the keys pretty much tells the tale , he was thinking beyond himself , with great concern ....

Regards ..

Bob in St. Louis · « **Reply #14 on:** 16 Jan 2015, 04:34 pm »

Quote from: a.wayne on 16 Jan 2015, 04:05 pm

.......the fact that your Dad gave you the keys......

Double meaning there.
I've never thought about it happening twice in his lifetime....Once when you were able to drive, once when he wasn't.

BobM · « **Reply #15 on:** 16 Jan 2015, 04:47 pm »

Quote from: Bob in St. Louis on 16 Jan 2015, 04:34 pm

Double meaning there.
I've never thought about it happening twice in his lifetime....Once when you were able to drive, once when he wasn't.

Oh Man! That is a true philosophical downer.

Bob in St. Louis · « **Reply #16 on:** 16 Jan 2015, 05:00 pm »

Indeed Bob.
My Father died when I was 20, so I won't have to deal with the second "giving of the keys".
But my Mother is 81 and broke her hip last week.......

S Clark · « **Reply #17 on:** 16 Jan 2015, 05:08 pm »

Most of us have or will experience the diminishment of our parents. And although it is a hard thing, it is the natural progression of life. My dad had a slow decline over several years, and my wife's father is in the early years of his mental and physical downward spiral. In the US, this is a health issue that we have not managed to get a handle on. I'm curious how this issue is addressed in other countries? Perhaps some of our members from around the world might add their experiences.

JLM · « **Reply #18 on:** 16 Jan 2015, 07:13 pm »

Caring for a parent (and becoming the responsible one) is a growth opportunity to be sure. One of the last tasks I had to do was helping to insert an urinary catheter into my Dad (due to lack of male emergency department nurses - privacy concerns). Fortunately within 10 minutes only two of us could recall the experience. Unfortunately by far not the worst hospital responsibility I've had. (And folks wonder why I can't smile for a camera.

)

apollophono · « **Reply #19 on:** 16 Jan 2015, 08:42 pm »

That video led me to think of my wife's car accident. She was
rear ended and pushed through an intersection. The truck that
hit her went on to hit 4 more vehicles with slowing dow.
It was an obvious medical condition, but I don't believe the
driver was old.

Fortunately my wife was uninjured (car was totaled) and we
believe the driver of the truck was taken to the hospital. It
is sad when the elderly have a mishap that leads to tragic events.

This is definitely a tough subject and my heart goes out to everyone
who is having to deal with the problem. My MIL is going through
those years now. Fortunately she has 8 daughters to help her and
even some nieces and nephews.

Have Faith!
Mike