Today's Smile

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mikeeastman

Re: Today's Smile
« Reply #540 on: 8 Jan 2022, 01:49 pm »



mikeeastman

Re: Today's Smile
« Reply #541 on: 9 Jan 2022, 11:41 pm »



Mag

Re: Today's Smile
« Reply #542 on: 9 Jan 2022, 11:42 pm »



James Tanner

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Re: Today's Smile
« Reply #543 on: 11 Jan 2022, 02:01 am »
The Charles Schulz Philosophy

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the creator of the 'Peanuts' comic strip.
You don't have to actually answer the questions.
Just ponder on them. Just read the e-mail straight through, and you'll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?
The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday.
These are no second-rate achievers
They are the best in their fields.
But the applause dies.
Awards tarnish ...
Achievements are forgotten.
Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:
1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

The lesson:
The   people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money ... or the most   awards. They simply are the ones who care the most .

weatherman1

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Re: Today's Smile
« Reply #544 on: 12 Jan 2022, 06:06 am »



charmerci

Re: Today's Smile
« Reply #545 on: 12 Jan 2022, 07:02 am »
A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentlemen, "What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?" The gentlemen responded, "Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden naked in my trench coat and flash them. My tomatoes turn red from blushing so much." Well, the woman was so impressed; she decided to try doing the same thing to her tomato garden to see if it would work. So twice a day for two weeks she flashed her garden hoping for the best. One day the gentleman was passing by and asked the woman, "By the way, how did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?" "No", she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous."

mikeeastman

Re: Today's Smile
« Reply #546 on: 17 Jan 2022, 11:37 pm »



mikeeastman

Re: Today's Smile
« Reply #547 on: 20 Jan 2022, 01:54 pm »
The Hypnotist at a Senior Home

It was entertainment night at the senior citizens' center. After the community sing along, led by Alice at the piano, it was time for the star of the show - Claude the Hypnotist!
 
Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance. "Yes, each and every one of you and all at the same time." said Claude. The excited chatter dropped to silence as Claude carefully withdrew from waistcoat pocket; a beautiful antique gold pocket watch and chain.
"I want you to keep your eyes on this watch" said Claude, holding the watch high for all to see. "It is a very special and valuable watch that has been in my family for 6 generations" said Claude.
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting "Watch the watch --- Watch the watch ---- Watch the watch”
The audience became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth. The lights were twinkling as they were reflected from its gleaming surface. A hundred and fifty pairs of eyes followed the movements of the gently swaying watch. They were hypnotized.
And then, suddenly, the chain broke!!!
 
The beautiful watch fell to the stage and burst apart on impact!
"SHIT!" said Claude.
 
It took them three days to clean the Senior Citizens' Centre - and Claude was never invited back again.

bcugk

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Re: Today's Smile
« Reply #548 on: 20 Jan 2022, 04:26 pm »
Good one, sent this to my family and parents who are in a retirement home, very topical for us
Thanks



The Hypnotist at a Senior Home

It was entertainment night at the senior citizens' center. After the community sing along, led by Alice at the piano, it was time for the star of the show - Claude the Hypnotist!
 
Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance. "Yes, each and every one of you and all at the same time." said Claude. The excited chatter dropped to silence as Claude carefully withdrew from waistcoat pocket; a beautiful antique gold pocket watch and chain.
"I want you to keep your eyes on this watch" said Claude, holding the watch high for all to see. "It is a very special and valuable watch that has been in my family for 6 generations" said Claude.
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting "Watch the watch --- Watch the watch ---- Watch the watch”
The audience became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth. The lights were twinkling as they were reflected from its gleaming surface. A hundred and fifty pairs of eyes followed the movements of the gently swaying watch. They were hypnotized.
And then, suddenly, the chain broke!!!
 
The beautiful watch fell to the stage and burst apart on impact!
"SHIT!" said Claude.
 
It took them three days to clean the Senior Citizens' Centre - and Claude was never invited back again.

rodge827

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Re: Today's Smile
« Reply #549 on: 20 Jan 2022, 05:31 pm »



rodge827

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Re: Today's Smile
« Reply #550 on: 21 Jan 2022, 05:34 pm »



James Tanner

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Re: Today's Smile
« Reply #551 on: 22 Jan 2022, 12:13 am »



veloceleste

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Re: Today's Smile
« Reply #552 on: 23 Jan 2022, 09:27 pm »



Mariusz Uszynski

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Re: Today's Smile
« Reply #553 on: 23 Jan 2022, 10:06 pm »



Mudslide

Re: Today's Smile
« Reply #554 on: 24 Jan 2022, 12:03 am »



JCarney

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Re: Today's Smile
« Reply #555 on: 30 Jan 2022, 03:52 am »
Does Lightning McQueen have car insurance, or life insurance?

JCarney

James Tanner

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Re: Today's Smile
« Reply #556 on: 30 Jan 2022, 12:50 pm »



weatherman1

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Re: Today's Smile
« Reply #557 on: 31 Jan 2022, 05:58 am »



James Tanner

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Re: Today's Smile
« Reply #558 on: 31 Jan 2022, 06:45 pm »



mikeeastman

Re: Today's Smile
« Reply #559 on: 31 Jan 2022, 11:21 pm »