Joke of the Day

charmerci · « **Reply #2102 on:** 8 Jul 2017, 07:33 pm »

From the net.

We've all experienced deja vu in our lives, but did you know there are many variants of deja Vu that you may have throughout your life?

Deja boo: The feeling that I've been frightened like this before
Deja coup: The feeling my government has been overthrown like this before.
Deja clue: The feeling that colonel mustard has done it in the billiard room with the lead pipe before.
Deja do: The feeling my hairdresser has given me this cut before.
Deja fu: The feeling I've been kicked in the head like this before.
Deja who: The feeling I've known who was on first before.
Deja jew: The feeling I've wandered in the desert like this before.
Deja knew: The feeling that I remembered this information before (before the test, that was).
Deja loo: The feeling I've been to this bathroom before.
Deja moo: The feeling I've drank this milk before.
Deja mu: The feeling I've calculated the mean of this population before.
Deja new: The feeling I haven't experienced this before. (AKA, "Vuja De" - Nothing like this HAS EVER happened to me before.)
Deja ooh: The feeling I've exclaimed at these fireworks before.
Deja poo: The feeling I've stepped in this before.
Deja Q: The feeling I've encountered this entity before.
Deja rue: The feeling I've regretted this day before.
Deja stew: The feeling that this is made from the pot roast my mom served the week before.
Deja too: The feeling that I've experienced this before, also.
Deja two: The feeling that I've experienced this before, twice.
Deja woo: The feeling that heather has yelled at someone like this before.
Deja you: The feeling that YOU have experienced this before.
Deja zoo: The feeling that the monkey has done this in public before.
DUH-ja-vu: The feeling that the answer was so obvious, that you *surely* should have known it before. DUH!

mikeeastman · « **Reply #2103 on:** 9 Jul 2017, 01:38 pm »

Kenneth Patchen · « **Reply #2104 on:** 10 Jul 2017, 12:09 am »

Did you hear about the sleep deprived gentleman who confused his Viagra for his sleeping pill? Well, he's still tired but at least he had 40 wanks.

jhm731 · « **Reply #2105 on:** 12 Jul 2017, 06:30 pm »

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it out at dinner one night.

The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.
The son says, "I did some schoolwork."
The robot slaps the son.

The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."

Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"

Son says, "Toy Story."

The robot slaps the son.

Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching porn."

Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was."

The robot slaps the father.

Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son."

The robot slaps the mother.

Robot for sale.

srb · « **Reply #2106 on:** 12 Jul 2017, 07:43 pm »

With a 106 page topic spanning almost 8 years (!), jokes are bound to be repeated. In the October 2009 and March 2010 versions, the supposedly watched movie was The Ten Commandments and the actual movie was Sex Queen.

jhm731 · « **Reply #2107 on:** 13 Jul 2017, 04:48 am »

thunderbrick · « **Reply #2108 on:** 13 Jul 2017, 05:05 am »

LesterSleepsIn · « **Reply #2109 on:** 16 Jul 2017, 02:30 am »

Maybe it's just the wine talking but I really, really, really like wine.

Russell Dawkins · « **Reply #2110 on:** 16 Jul 2017, 07:58 am »

Quote from: LesterSleepsIn on 16 Jul 2017, 02:30 am

Maybe it's just the wine talking but I really, really, really like wine.

jhm731 · « **Reply #2111 on:** 16 Jul 2017, 07:44 pm »

JerryM · « **Reply #2112 on:** 21 Jul 2017, 01:57 am »

*Goes to bakery to try wedding cake samples*

Baker: "When is your wedding?"

Me *with mouthful of cake*: "What wedding?"

Wind Chaser · « **Reply #2113 on:** 25 Jul 2017, 05:56 pm »

She's single and very attractive... She lives right across the street.

I can see her place from my kitchen window.

I watched as she got home from work this evening.

I was surprised when she walked across the street, up my driveway and knocked on the door.
I opened the door, she looked me straight in the eyes and said, "I just got home, and I have this strong urge to have a good time, dance, get drunk, and get laid tonight. Are you doing anything?"

I quickly replied, "Nope, I'm free!"

"Great," she said. "Can you watch my dog?"

Being a senior citizen really sucks!

Russell Dawkins · « **Reply #2114 on:** 25 Jul 2017, 06:22 pm »

http://audiophile.rocks/index.html

Nathanm lives!

Mike B. · « **Reply #2115 on:** 25 Jul 2017, 06:34 pm »

Quote from: Russell Dawkins on 25 Jul 2017, 06:22 pm

http://audiophile.rocks/index.html

Nathanm lives!

Wonder if this is the Coconut guy with the huge cables?

LesterSleepsIn · « **Reply #2116 on:** 25 Jul 2017, 07:27 pm »

Quote from: Wind Chaser on 25 Jul 2017, 05:56 pm

She's single and very attractive... She lives right across the street.

I can see her place from my kitchen window.

I watched as she got home from work this evening.

I was surprised when she walked across the street, up my driveway and knocked on the door.
I opened the door, she looked me straight in the eyes and said, "I just got home, and I have this strong urge to have a good time, dance, get drunk, and get laid tonight. Are you doing anything?"

I quickly replied, "Nope, I'm free!"

"Great," she said. "Can you watch my dog?"

Being a senior citizen really sucks!

Youth is wasted on the young

Bob in St. Louis · « **Reply #2117 on:** 25 Jul 2017, 07:29 pm »

Quote from: Russell Dawkins on 25 Jul 2017, 06:22 pm

http://audiophile.rocks/index.html

Nathanm lives!

NATHANM!!!!!

$2000 for three?

Russell Dawkins · « **Reply #2118 on:** 25 Jul 2017, 08:40 pm »

Quote from: Bob in St. Louis on 25 Jul 2017, 07:29 pm

NATHANM!!!!!
$2000 for three?

But these aren't easy to make

Imagine the effort involved in having to go to this cottage deep in the woods of Sweden every summer to harvest the ingredients for your resonance filters...

Image found under 'contact us'.

LesterSleepsIn · « **Reply #2119 on:** 25 Jul 2017, 09:01 pm »

Quote from: Russell Dawkins on 25 Jul 2017, 08:40 pm

But these aren't easy to make
Imagine the effort involved in having to go to this cottage deep in the woods of Sweden every summer to harvest the ingredients for your resonance filters...

Not to mention the care and artistry that goes into making their festive holiday themed set