[Wind Chaser]

I live in constant fear that my daughter will become a famous artist or painter and I will have thrown out about a trillion dollars of her work.

Jeez, wouldn't that be something!

You have to wonder if, and how much... art did the parents of famous artists trash.

[Bob in St. Louis]

The parents of Picasso and Michelangelo.... 

[charmerci]

The parents of Picasso and Michelangelo.... 

Neither and more or less none. Back then in Michelangelo's time, the very few (rich) kids with any talent were apprenticed for a long time. Picasso was a child prodigy though a few pieces may have been lost. He painted so much that there are actually hundreds of his paintings which were stolen and haven't been ever recovered! 


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2092698/Pablo-Picasso-stolen-artist-world-1k-pieces-work-missing.html


Someone stole a two ton Henry Moore sculpture for the metal!


https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2009/may/17/henry-moore-sculpture-theft-reclining-figure

[thunderbrick]

[Bendingwave]

But watching porn and playing it on your hi fi system makes it much more exciting and life like especially if they make porn movies in dolby atmos format....one would be able to hear sounds they have never heard before in a porn movie. 

[elasticnorseman]

sorry, wrong thread....

[JerryM]

I was minding my own business enjoying my ride when a group of teens zoomed up along side me and hollered "PIG!"

I immediately yelled back "F*ck You!" and flipped them off with vigor.

Then i ran over a pig.

[thunderbrick]

 

[mikeeastman]

+2 

[thunderbrick]

[thunderbrick]

After landing my new job in dunnes stores ..... I lasted less than a day. Here’s what happened:

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, decidedly unattractive woman walked into the store along with her two kids, shouting and swearing at them all the way through the entrance.

As I had been instructed, I said, pleasantly, "Good morning "
I then said, "Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"

The ugly woman stopped swearing long enough to say, "Don't be fucking stupid. Of course they aren't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid girl?"

I replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid, I just couldn't believe someone fucked you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at dunnes stores.

My Supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.

[Audiovista]

  

[ted_b]

A MALE FAIRY TALE
 
 
 
 
Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess,
"Will you marry me?"
The Princess immediately said, "No!"
And the Prince lived happily ever after, and
rode motorcycles and dated thin, long-legged,
full-breasted women, and hunted and fished
 and
 raced cars, and went to titty bars and
dated ladies half his age
 and
 drank whiskey, beer, and Captain Morgan, and
never heard bitching
and
 never paid child support or alimony, and
dated cheerleaders and 
 kept his house and guns, and ate spam and
potato chips and beans, and 
 blew enormous farts, and
never got cheated on while he was at work,
 and
 all his friends and family thought
he was friggin' cool as hell,
and
 he had tons of money in the bank, and
left the toilet seat up.
The End.

[Bob in St. Louis]

I wish there was a Confederate General named Joe Buck. 

[won ton on]

ted_b      gotta like a happy ending

[thunderbrick]

My grandfather was a WW2 veteran. In just one day during the Battle of Britain he destroyed 8 German aircraft killing 32 Nazi airmen.

Easily the worst fucking mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had!

[JerryM]

 

[JerryM]

I wish there was a Confederate General named Joe Buck. 

Ha!

Not sure how I missed this line, but I wish there was one named Jon Gruden. 

[jhm731]

Might be an old one.

The art of the deal!!!

A retired older couple returned to a Mercedes dealership where the salesman
has just sold the car they had been interested in to a beautiful, leggy,busty blonde in a mini skirt and a halter top.
T
he old man was visibly upset. He spoke to the salesman sharply:
“Young man, I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $95,000 asking price, yet I just ​ overheard you closed the deal for $75,000 to the lovely young lady there.

And if I remember right, you had insisted there was no way you could ​ discount this model.

“The salesman took a deep breath, cleared his throat and reached for a ​ large glass of water.

“Well, what can I tell you? She had the cash ready, ​ didn’t need any financing help, and, Sir, just look at her, how could I
resist?”, replied the grinning salesman sheepishly.

Just then the young woman approached the senior couple and gave the car ​ keys to the old man.

“There you go,” she said. “I told you I could get that idiot to lower the ​price. See you later Dad, Happy Father’s day.”

[thunderbrick]