[thunderbrick]

 

[charmerci]

 




I wish I had come up with the comment about this cartoon - "...and shortly afterward, Toto released his first album."

[randytsuch]

I wish I had come up with the comment about this cartoon - "...and shortly afterward, Toto released his first album."

 

[thunderbrick]

Joan, who was rather well-proportioned, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel.
She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan.
She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs.
She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.
"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The Hilton doesn't mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday."
"What difference does it make?" Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel."
"Not exactly," said the embarrassed man. "You're lying on the dining room skylight."

[thunderbrick]

Anyone on here know anything about drones? Bought this at an estate sale with no user manual and can't get it to fly. All help appreciated.

[JakeJ]

Sorry, 'brick, there is no help for you! 

[THROWBACK]

thunderbrick: Maybe if you get it spinning real fast . . .

[Bob in St. Louis]

Maybe somebody should tell him that it's carnage from an office chair race.

[LesterSleepsIn]

String some Christmas lights on it and hang it on your front door. Festive!

[Bob in St. Louis]

If he could find another one, he could use them as a base for his Maggies.
It would make toe adjustments much easier.   

[thunderbrick]

If he could find another one, he could use them as a base for his Maggies.
It would make toe adjustments much easier.   

BRILLIANT!!!!

[jaywills]

Got this from a 70+ y/o friend:
 
WINDOWS:         Please enter your new password.
 
User:                  cabbage
 
WINDOWS:         Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
 
User:                  boiled cabbage
 
WINDOWS:         Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
 
User:                  1 boiled cabbage
 
WINDOWS:         Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
 
User:                  50damnboiledcabbages
 
WINDOWS:         Sorry, the password must contain at least 1 upper case character.
 
User:                  50DAMNEDboiled cabbages
 
WINDOWS:         Sorry, the password cannot use more than 1 upper case character consecutively.
 
User:                  50DamnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYo uDon’tGiveMeAccessNow!
 
WINDOWS:         Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
 
User:                  ReallyPissed50DamnBoiledCabbagesShovedU pYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow
 
Windows:            Sorry, that password is already in use.         

[Mag]

The wifey said "for Christmas I want something in the driveway that does 0 to 120 K in less than 8 seconds!"

So I bought her a scale.

[THROWBACK]

JAYWILLS: Painful but hilarious!

[LesterSleepsIn]

He apparently was sent up from the Sacramento Salamanders.

https://www.sbnation.com/lookit/2015/6/8/8748933/pat-venditte-switch-pitcher-newspaper-headline-amphibious-pitcher

[thunderbrick]

I was at a funeral today when I asked the priest for the WiFi code.

He shouted, "Have some respect for the dead."

I said, "Is that all in lower case?"

[JerryM]

I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.

[Don_S]

I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.

Great one liner. 

[LesterSleepsIn]

I can only presume this was a political statement (?)

Since I don't keep up with this sort of thing I was unaware of the ongoing noisy feud between fans of the band Yes and the Rock and Roll induction committee who until this year had failed to induct Yes. But this year Yes made it, along with balls out rocker Joan Baez and others.

This is what my nephew told me about an uncomfortable Rick Wakeman's  'thank you' speech (paraphrased but true):

"For someone with prostate problems there seems to be a long time between comfort breaks. I just had mine checked on Monday and ladies if you don't know what this is about, you assume the fetal position, the doctors snaps on rubber gloves and then roots about like a groundhog. The doctor said to me, Mr. Wakeman there's no need for embarrassment. It's quite common to get an erection during these procedures. I said, "but I don't have an erection". And the doctor said, "no, but I do".

Thank you for this award"


Sent from my iPad

[Mike B.]

Wakeman's speech

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=Rick+wakemans+Rock+and+Roll+hall+of+fame+speech&view=detail&mid=57F4E6D8987CBC1CA0EE57F4E6D8987CBC1CA0EE&FORM=VIRE