Joke of the Day

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mikeeastman

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2240 on: 17 Oct 2017, 01:56 am »
Removed, sorry.
« Last Edit: 17 Oct 2017, 01:28 pm by mikeeastman »

Brettio

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2241 on: 17 Oct 2017, 02:33 am »
Best if this stays non-political...

S1NN3R

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2242 on: 17 Oct 2017, 04:39 am »
A game show host isn’t polical to me lmao

Wind Chaser

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2243 on: 17 Oct 2017, 05:15 am »
Just a reminder to everyone - whether we post here or not.  :wink:


Welcome to Humour and Jokes. This circle is where you can post funny & witty jokes for other members to enjoy. Please be mindful that political/religious jokes are considered unacceptable if posted in a victimizing manner that disrespects a person or group of people. Make this an enjoyable part of the forum for others.

Much like audio, humour is a very... individual thing. What you may find hilarious may be deathly boring for others. Don't be offended, nor flame other members, should your particular brand of humour differ.

Most importantly, have fun!

« Last Edit: 17 Oct 2017, 08:24 am by Wind Chaser »

jhm731

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2244 on: 17 Oct 2017, 05:42 am »
Deleted
« Last Edit: 17 Oct 2017, 10:00 am by jhm731 »

ServerAdmin

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2245 on: 17 Oct 2017, 06:02 am »
You guys know there is a "no politics" rule. Tired of asking nicely, deliberately breaking the rule will just earn you a timeout. If you don't care, fine, if you do then edit your post.

JerryM

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2246 on: 18 Oct 2017, 02:02 am »
Best if this stays non-political...

Just a reminder to everyone - whether we post here or not.  :wink:

You guys know there is a "no politics" rule. Tired of asking nicely, deliberately breaking the rule will just earn you a timeout. If you don't care, fine, if you do then edit your post.


To each of you, thank you for the kind assist with the Circle.  Very Truly.  :thumb:
Thank you also to the myriad folks who simply refrained.  :beer:


Brettio

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2247 on: 18 Oct 2017, 03:03 am »
Thank you JerryM for all the work you do for us and this awesome site.

Bob in St. Louis

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2248 on: 18 Oct 2017, 12:04 pm »
Yea Jerry, thanks man. You're a great "bartender".  :wink:

djbnh

Too soon?
« Reply #2249 on: 18 Oct 2017, 12:07 pm »
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

She is not a BABE or a CHICK; she is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER; she is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

She is not EASY; she is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

She is not DUMB; she is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

She has not BEEN AROUND; she is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

She is not an AIR HEAD; she is REALITY IMPAIRED.

She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY; she gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

She is not HORNY; she is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS; she is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

She does not NAG YOU; she becomes ORALLY REPETITIVE.

She is not a SLUT; she is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

She is not a TWO BIT WHORE; she is a LOW COST PROVIDER.



HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

He does not have a BEER GUT; he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE
FACILITY.

He is not a BAD DANCER; he is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME; he INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS.

He is not BALDING; he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

He is not a CRADLE ROBBER; he prefers GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS.

He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK; he becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

He does not act like a TOTAL ASS; he develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL
INVERSION.

He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG; he has SWINE EMPATHY.

He is not afraid of COMMITMENT; he is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

He is not QUIET; he is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST.

He is not STUPID; he suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT.

He is not SHORT; he is ANATOMICALLY COMPACT.

He does not CONSTANTLY TALK ABOUT CARS; he has a VEHICULAR ADDICTION.

He is not UNSOPHISTICATED; he is SOCIALLY MALFORMED.

He does not EAT LIKE A PIG; he suffers from REVERSE BULIMIA.

He does not HOG THE BLANKETS; he is THERMALLY UNAPPRECIATIVE.

He doesn't have a DIRTY MIND; he has INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENTS.

jhm731

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2250 on: 18 Oct 2017, 07:45 pm »
Three older ladies were discussing the trials of getting older.

One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can't remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich."

The second lady chimed in, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down."

The third one responded, "Well, I'm sure glad I don't have that problem, knock on wood." She rapped her knuckles on the table and said, "That must be the door, I'll get it."

006.9

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2251 on: 18 Oct 2017, 10:39 pm »
Do you know how to recognize a trombone player's kid on the playground?

He's afraid of the slide and he can't swing.

006.9

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2252 on: 18 Oct 2017, 10:41 pm »
What's the difference between a saxophone section in a jazz band and a Harley Davidson motorcycle?

 You can tune a Harley.

ArthurDent

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2253 on: 19 Oct 2017, 02:03 pm »
Yea Jerry, thanks man. You're a great "bartender".  :wink:

+1  :thumb: